The introduction effectively sets the stage for the comparison, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines the specific aspects of power and control you will explore in both poems. Consider explicitly stating the main points you will discuss to guide the reader.
In the second paragraph, while you provide strong textual evidence, the analysis could be more focused. For example, when discussing 'mind forg'd manacles', ensure that you clearly connect the metaphor to the broader theme of power and control. Additionally, avoid repetitive phrases like 'horrific effects' and instead vary your language to maintain engagement.
To improve AO1, ensure that your comparisons are more explicitly drawn throughout the essay. Instead of just stating the effects of power in each poem, actively link the two poems in your analysis. For AO2, deepen your analysis of the language and structure used by the poets. For instance, when discussing the tone in 'London', explain how it contributes to the overall message about power. In AO3, enhance your exploration of the contextual factors by providing more specific historical references that connect the poems to their respective periods.
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the themes of power and control in both poems. The use of textual references is strong, and you effectively identify key literary devices, such as metaphor and tone, which contribute to the overall meaning of the poems.
To achieve a higher mark, focus on creating more explicit comparisons between the two poems throughout your essay. Additionally, ensure that your analysis of literary devices is more detailed, exploring how these devices affect the reader's understanding of power and control. Finally, incorporate more contextual information to enrich your analysis, such as specific historical events that influenced the poets' perspectives.