In the first paragraph, while the identification of personification in both poems is strong, the analysis could be deepened by exploring how the specific word choices contribute to the overall tone and meaning. For example, explain how the phrase 'experienced robber' not only suggests chaos but also evokes a sense of danger and unpredictability. Additionally, consider providing a direct quote from Collins' poem to strengthen the comparison.
The second paragraph effectively discusses the structure of the poems, but it could benefit from a clearer connection between the structure and the emotional impact on the reader. Instead of just stating that enjambment speeds up the poem, explain how this speed mirrors the chaos of autumn. Also, consider elaborating on how the couplets in 'Today' create a sense of order and tranquility, perhaps by discussing the effect of the pauses in more detail.
The conclusion summarizes the main points well, but it could be more impactful by reiterating the significance of the poets' choices in language and structure. Consider highlighting how these choices not only reflect their attitudes towards the seasons but also engage the reader's emotions.
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the poets' use of personification and structure to convey their attitudes towards the seasons. The comparisons made between the two poems are relevant and show a thoughtful engagement with the texts.
To achieve a higher mark, the essay should include more detailed analysis of specific language choices and their effects. Additionally, enhancing the connections between the structure and the emotional responses they evoke would strengthen the overall argument.
Overall, the essay presents a thoughtful comparison of the two poems, effectively identifying key methods used by the poets. However, to reach a higher level of attainment, the analysis needs to delve deeper into the language and structure, providing more specific examples and clearer connections to the poets' attitudes.