You need to refer to Source A and Source B for this question. The effects of the weathe... - AI essay feedback

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You need to refer to Source A and Source B for this question. The effects of the weathe... - AI essay feedback

Use TILFFrom TSTS

Use TILFFrom TSTS

Firstly, In Source A Matt Dickinson presents the weather on Mount Everest to be freezing. In the source Dickinson presents it to be ‘like living in a freezer.’ From this it can be inferred that the temperature is disliked and uncomfortable, proving to be an hindrance overall for those who have to experience it. Contrasting this, Arthur Munby presents the icy weather as causing calmness. In the source Munby describes how ‘all traffic, except afoot ,was stopped’ From this it can be inferred that when it is cold people prefer to stay in doors and that the empty streets provide a refreshing peace as people don’t have to contend with the normally, busy roads but can enjoy the isolation. Secondly, in source A Dickinson presents the snow to be fatal. Dickinson presents how ‘not a single landmark,’ was ‘visible through the raging white-out of the blizzard.’ From this, it can be inferred that the snow was dangerous as it decreased visibility which is essential when climbing a mountain. Additionally, from the adjective ‘raging’ it can be inferred that the storm is angry and will cause injury. Finally, In source B Munby significantly differs in his description by presenting the snow to be beautiful. In the source, Munby describes that ‘nothing could be more beautiful,’ when referencing the snow. From the way Munby speaks so positively about the snow it can be inferred it brings joy to him and others and is something which brings joy rather than fatality, which is how Dickinson in Source A presents it.

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Mark

7/8

Paragraphs Feedback

In the first paragraph, while you identify the discomfort caused by the weather in Source A, you could enhance your analysis by discussing how this discomfort affects the people's ability to function or their mental state. For example, consider how the extreme cold might impact climbers' motivation or safety.
In the second paragraph, you effectively contrast the two sources, but you could improve by providing more detail on how the calmness described in Source B affects people's daily lives or activities. For instance, you could mention how the quiet streets might encourage outdoor activities or reflection.
In the third paragraph, you make a good point about the dangers of the snow in Source A. However, you could strengthen your argument by discussing the implications of this danger on the climbers' decisions or the overall climbing experience. Additionally, consider linking this back to the emotional impact on the climbers.
In the final paragraph, while you highlight the beauty of the snow in Source B, you could enhance your analysis by discussing how this beauty might influence people's behavior or feelings towards winter activities. For example, you could mention how it might encourage people to engage in snow sports or enjoy nature.

What Went Well

The essay clearly identifies and contrasts the different effects of weather in both sources, which aligns well with the question's focus.
You use relevant textual evidence from both sources to support your points, demonstrating a clear understanding of the texts.
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear progression from one point to the next, making it easy to follow the argument.

Even Better If

To achieve a higher mark, consider providing deeper analysis of how the weather affects people's emotions and behaviors in both sources, rather than just stating the effects.
Incorporate more varied textual details and examples to support your inferences, which would strengthen your arguments and provide a more comprehensive summary.
Ensure that each paragraph not only presents information but also explores the implications of that information on the people experiencing the weather, enhancing the depth of your analysis.