Look in detail at this extract from lines 9 to 18: The early morning of the 27th was an... - AI essay feedback

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Look in detail at this extract from lines 9 to 18: The early morning of the 27th was an... - AI essay feedback

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The writer suggests that the morning was grey and depressing with the imagery "an affair of slatternly* rags soaking in a dishwater sky". The word "affair" suggests that there was something secret or illicit or wrong about the morning. The word "dishwater" implies that the morning was dirty, cloudy and unclean like water after the washing up has been done. The writer also implies that the morning is full of noise with the alliterative imagery of "cocks crowed and other birds welcomed the dawn more melodiously". The harsh "c" sound in the alliterative term "cocks crowed" suggests that the noise they made was unpleasant and difficult to listen to, which adds to the sense of something bad happening. However the term "melodiously" suggests that the other birds were making a more tuneful and pleasant singing noise, which brings a small sense of normality to the scene. Later in the extract the writer shows that something unusual is happening as he describes a long list of animals such as "its horses, cows and sheep; its pigs, its poultry" and says that they all "lay still" which suggests that they are all sleeping at the same time. The building of the long list of animal types adds tension and builds the idea that something very unusual is happening. The word "still" suggests no movement. He also describes the "chiming of the church clock" showing that the noise of the church clock was breaking through the silence and again the harsh consonant sound of the alliteration suggests that the chiming clock was really loud and stood out.

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Mark

7/8

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In the first paragraph, while you identify the imagery and its implications, you could enhance your analysis by exploring how the combination of 'slatternly rags' and 'dishwater sky' creates a vivid picture of neglect and decay, reinforcing the overall mood of the morning. Consider discussing the emotional impact of this imagery on the reader.

What Went Well

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the language used in the extract, particularly in identifying key imagery and alliteration. The analysis of the contrast between the sounds of the cocks and other birds is insightful, showing an awareness of the complexity of the scene.

Even Better If

To achieve a higher mark, you should provide more detailed analysis of the effects of the language choices. For example, when discussing the list of animals, you could elaborate on how the repetition of 'lay still' emphasizes the eerie silence in Midwich, creating a sense of foreboding. Additionally, ensure that you consistently use subject terminology accurately throughout your response.

Stronger Writing

The writer creates a bleak and unsettling atmosphere in the morning with the imagery of 'slatternly rags soaking in a dishwater sky', which evokes a sense of neglect and decay. The term 'affair' suggests an illicit or secretive quality to the morning, enhancing the feeling of something being amiss. In contrast, the alliteration in 'cocks crowed and other birds welcomed the dawn more melodiously' highlights the discordant sounds of the cocks, which are described as harsh, while the word 'melodiously' introduces a fleeting sense of normalcy through the other birds' songs. This juxtaposition adds depth to the scene. Furthermore, the long list of animals that 'lay still' underscores the unusual silence in Midwich, with the repetition of 'still' reinforcing the sense of stagnation and eeriness. The mention of the 'chiming of the church clock' breaks this silence, and the alliteration here emphasizes the clock's loudness, suggesting a disruption in the otherwise quiet morning.