The introduction effectively sets the stage for the comparison, clearly stating the focus on guilt in 'Remains' and the harsh realities of nature in 'Exposure'. To improve, consider providing a more explicit thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss in each poem.
This paragraph provides a strong analysis of 'Exposure', particularly in its use of personification and assonance. However, it could benefit from a clearer connection between the analysis and the overall theme of the poem. For example, explicitly link how the techniques used contribute to the theme of nature's brutality in war.
The exploration of the theme of guilt in 'Remains' is well-articulated, but the analysis could be deepened by discussing how the shift from 'we' to 'I' impacts the reader's understanding of collective versus individual guilt. Consider adding a sentence that reflects on the emotional impact of this shift.
This paragraph presents a thoughtful comparison between the two poems, but it could be more concise. Focus on the key points of comparison rather than repeating similar ideas. For instance, instead of reiterating the collective experience, emphasize how Armitage's personal focus contrasts with Owen's broader critique of nature.
The analysis of the ending of 'Remains' is insightful, particularly the connection to Macbeth. To enhance this, consider discussing how this allusion not only highlights guilt but also connects to the theme of moral responsibility in war. This would strengthen the link between the literary reference and the poem's overall message.
This paragraph effectively summarizes the main points of both poems, but it could be improved by briefly reiterating the specific techniques used in each poem that contribute to their respective themes. This would provide a more rounded conclusion that ties back to your analysis.
The conclusion summarizes the main arguments well, but it could be more impactful by reiterating the significance of the poets' choices in conveying their messages. Consider ending with a thought-provoking statement about the lasting impact of war on individuals, drawing from the analyses provided.
To improve AO1, ensure that your comparisons are more explicitly drawn throughout the essay. For AO2, continue to analyze the effects of the writers' methods, but also integrate more subject terminology to enhance your analysis. For AO3, deepen your exploration of the contexts of each poem, particularly how the historical context of war influences the poets' perspectives.
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the themes of guilt and the effects of nature in war, effectively comparing the two poems. The use of textual references is strong, and the analysis of literary techniques is insightful, particularly in relation to the emotional impact of the poems.
To achieve a higher mark, focus on creating more explicit connections between your comparisons, deepen your analysis of the poets' methods, and enhance your discussion of the contexts in which the poems were written. Additionally, consider refining your structure to ensure that each paragraph clearly contributes to your overall argument.
Overall, this essay presents a thoughtful comparison of 'Remains' and 'Exposure', effectively exploring the themes of guilt and the harsh realities of war. The analysis is generally strong, but there are areas for improvement in clarity, depth of analysis, and the integration of subject terminology. With some refinements, this essay could reach a higher level of attainment.