The first paragraph effectively introduces the themes of both poems, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines the specific aspects of comparison. Consider explicitly stating how both poems address the impact of external forces (war and nature) on human emotions and identity. For example, you could say, 'Both poems explore the profound emotional impacts of external forces on individuals, with Rumen focusing on the personal memories of exile and Heaney on the unpredictable power of nature.'
To improve AO1, ensure that your comparisons are more explicitly drawn throughout the essay. For instance, when discussing Rumen's use of metaphor, you could directly link it to Heaney's exploration of nature's power by stating how both poets use vivid imagery to convey the emotional turmoil caused by their respective subjects. For AO2, while you analyze specific techniques, try to delve deeper into the effects of these techniques on the reader's understanding. For example, explain how the oxymoron 'huge nothing' not only illustrates fear but also reflects the existential dread faced by individuals in the context of war. For AO3, enhance your contextual analysis by briefly discussing the historical or cultural backgrounds of both poems, which would enrich your comparison of how war and nature are portrayed in relation to human experience.
The essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the themes in both poems, particularly in how they address the emotional impacts of war and nature. The use of textual references is effective, and the analysis of specific literary devices, such as metaphor and oxymoron, shows a good grasp of AO2.
To achieve a higher mark, focus on creating clearer connections between the two poems throughout your essay. Ensure that each point you make about one poem is directly linked to the other, reinforcing the comparison. Additionally, consider expanding your analysis of the effects of the literary techniques used, and incorporate more contextual information to deepen your exploration of the themes.
Overall, the essay presents a thoughtful comparison of 'Émigrée' and 'Storm on the Island,' effectively exploring the emotional impacts of war and nature. However, to reach a higher level, the essay would benefit from clearer connections between the two poems, deeper analysis of the effects of literary techniques, and more contextual information to enrich the discussion. A more structured approach to comparing the poems side by side would enhance the clarity and depth of your analysis.