The first paragraph effectively introduces the themes of both poems and provides a strong thesis statement. To improve, consider expanding on the context of both poets and how it influences their work. For example, you could elaborate on how Rumens' personal experiences with exile inform her perspective in The Émigrée.
The second paragraph presents a clear comparison between the two poems, but it could benefit from more detailed analysis of Heaney's use of language and structure. For instance, you could discuss how the imagery of nature in Storm on the Island contributes to the overall theme of fear and instability.
The final paragraph summarizes the comparison well, but it could be strengthened by providing specific examples from both poems to illustrate the points made. For example, you could mention how the tone in Rumens' poem shifts throughout to reflect the speaker's emotional state.
For AO1, ensure that your comparisons are more explicitly linked throughout the essay. For AO2, deepen your analysis of the language and structure in both poems, using more subject terminology. For AO3, consider discussing the broader social and political contexts of both poems to enhance your exploration of their themes.
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the themes in both poems and provides insightful analysis of the poets' intentions. The use of textual references is effective in supporting your interpretations, particularly in the first paragraph.
To achieve a higher mark, focus on providing more detailed analysis of the language and structure in both poems. Additionally, make sure to explicitly link your comparisons throughout the essay, rather than treating each poem separately.
Overall, this essay presents a thoughtful comparison of The Émigrée and Storm on the Island, effectively exploring the psychological effects of conflict in both poems. While the analysis is strong, there is room for improvement in the depth of language analysis and the clarity of comparisons. Strengthening these areas will enhance the overall quality of the response.