The first paragraph effectively introduces the idea of nature as an adversary in war, but it could benefit from clearer organization. Consider separating the analysis of the adjective 'merciless' and the verb 'knife' into distinct sentences to enhance clarity. For example, after discussing 'merciless', you could say, 'This suggests that nature is cruel and unsympathetic, creating an imbalance of power.' This would help the reader follow your argument more easily.
The essay presents a thoughtful exploration of Wilfred Owen's portrayal of war, particularly through the lens of nature as an enemy. The use of textual references, such as the quote about the 'merciless iced east winds', supports the interpretation effectively. Additionally, the analysis of the phrase 'but nothing happens' demonstrates a clear understanding of the poem's themes of futility and the psychological impact of war.
To achieve a higher mark, the essay should include more detailed analysis of Owen's methods and techniques. For instance, when discussing the anaphora 'but nothing happens', you could elaborate on how this repetition emphasizes the despair and hopelessness of the soldiers' situation. Furthermore, integrating more subject terminology, such as 'imagery' or 'metaphor', would strengthen the analysis of the language used in the poem.
Overall, the essay provides a compelling analysis of Wilfred Owen's presentation of war, focusing on the relationship between humans and nature. While the ideas are insightful and well-supported by textual evidence, the essay would benefit from clearer organization and a deeper exploration of the writer's methods. Enhancing the use of subject terminology and providing more detailed examples would elevate the analysis further.