A London Thoroughfare*. 2 A.M. They have watered the street, It shines in the glare of... - AI essay feedback

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A London Thoroughfare*. 2 A.M. They have watered the street, It shines in the glare of... - AI essay feedback

Firstly the “squalid and sinister” is used to set out as a dangerous atmosphere. The sibilance of “s... s...” evokes an image of a snake which we would normally associate being sneaky, poisonous and evil. The fact that he thinks the whole city is “squalid and sinister” shows us that he’s possibly scared of the city. The “slow-moving” furthermore implies connotations of snake; as we would normally expect slithering being slow. By zoomorphosizing the city to a snake it keeps the city's malignant nature throughout the poem. Furthermore the “and then another” suggest that he is bored about the incredibly bored living in the city. The use of enjambment highlights how there is nothing more to it than just another car. This disappoints the reader as the writer uses “One,” as a short line before giving the disappointing news. The writer tries to create irony that nothing interesting will happen. The “One,” is a short line, and it gets the reader excited and create tension by hinting something unexpected going to happen. But it doesn’t. The “she cannot light the city” shows us that the city is incurable. The “light” symbolizes hope and purity; by personifying the moon it suggest that the city is so evil and sinister that even the “light” that gives forgiveness doesn’t want to help. Furthermore the writer humanizes the moon by “she”; this almost could suggest that the moon is suffering from the city and therefore makes the reader empathize towards the moon thus making them develop hate towards the city (as it is the one causing suffering to the moon). Lastly the “This is an alien city” clearly shows us that he doesn’t want to be there and that he is an anomaly. The metaphor “alien” gives connotations of different, weird, out of ordinary clearly showing us that he doesn't feel in the right place because he is on an “alien” land. We see that this “2 A.M” thoughts had led him to reconsider his life choices. And possibly enlightening him to go back to where he originally lived.

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Mark

19/24

Paragraphs Feedback

In the first paragraph, while the analysis of 'squalid and sinister' is insightful, it would benefit from clearer connections to the speaker's feelings. For example, you could elaborate on how these feelings of fear and discomfort towards the city affect the speaker's overall perception of their environment. Additionally, consider providing a direct quote to support your interpretation of the sibilance.
The second paragraph presents a thoughtful analysis of enjambment and its effects, but it could be improved by clarifying how the boredom reflects the speaker's emotional state. Instead of just stating that the speaker is bored, you could explore how this boredom contributes to a sense of alienation or disconnection from the city. Also, ensure that the term 'zoomorphosizing' is clearly explained, as it may not be familiar to all readers.

AO Feedback

For AO1, to improve, focus on developing a more coherent argument that ties your points back to the speaker's feelings throughout. For instance, when discussing the moon, explicitly connect how the speaker's love for the moon contrasts with their feelings towards the city. This will help create a more unified response.
For AO2, enhance your analysis of language and structure by incorporating more subject terminology and exploring the effects of specific choices in greater depth. For example, when discussing the personification of the moon, you could explain how this choice not only evokes empathy but also highlights the speaker's isolation in the city.

What Went Well

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the poem's themes and effectively identifies key phrases that convey the speaker's feelings about the city. The analysis of the moon as a symbol of hope and purity is particularly strong, showing depth of thought.
The use of literary devices such as sibilance and enjambment is well-noted, indicating an awareness of how these methods contribute to the overall meaning of the poem. The connection between the moon and the city's darkness is a compelling insight that adds to the analysis.

Even Better If

To achieve a higher mark, the essay should provide more direct textual evidence to support claims. For instance, when discussing the 'squalid and sinister' description, including the full context of the quote would strengthen the argument.
Additionally, the essay would benefit from a more structured approach, ensuring that each paragraph clearly ties back to the central question about the speaker's feelings. This could be achieved by starting each paragraph with a topic sentence that directly addresses the question.