In the first paragraph, while you provide a strong analysis of the phrase 'ugly beyond redemption', it would benefit from clearer connections between the religious connotations and the overall impression of the hyena. Consider elaborating on how these connotations specifically influence the reader's perception of the hyena's appearance. Additionally, ensure that your terminology is consistent; for example, using 'its' instead of 'it’s' when referring to the hyena's characteristics.
In the second paragraph, you mention the contrast between the hyena and other animals, but this idea could be developed further. Explain how this contrast affects the reader's understanding of the hyena's uniqueness. Also, while you discuss the hyperbole in 'the mouth is forever open and panting', it would be helpful to clarify how this contributes to the overall tone and imagery of the hyena's appearance. Consider providing more specific examples of how the imagery evokes a reaction from the reader.
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the language used to describe the hyena, particularly through the use of religious connotations and hyperbole. The analysis of the phrase 'ugly beyond redemption' is insightful and shows a deep engagement with the text.
To achieve a higher mark, focus on providing more detailed explanations of how specific language choices impact the reader's perception. Ensure that all points made are clearly linked back to the question, and consider using a wider range of subject terminology to enhance your analysis.
Overall, the essay presents a thoughtful analysis of the hyena's appearance, utilizing relevant language features and techniques. However, to improve, it is important to ensure that all points are fully developed and clearly connected to the effects on the reader. More varied subject terminology and clearer links between ideas would strengthen the response.