The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly outlining the key differences between classical and modern liberalism. To improve, consider providing a more explicit thesis statement that outlines the extent of the departure from classical views, which would guide the reader more clearly on your argument's direction.
The second paragraph presents a strong comparison of the foundational principles of both liberal strands. However, it could benefit from more specific examples or quotes from the thinkers mentioned to strengthen the analysis. For instance, directly citing Mill's harm principle would enhance the argument about tolerance.
The third paragraph does well to highlight the practical differences between classical and modern liberals, particularly in their views on state intervention. To improve, you could elaborate on the implications of these differences for policy-making or societal outcomes, which would provide a deeper analysis of the consequences of their beliefs.
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively but could be more impactful by reiterating the significance of these differences in contemporary politics. Consider discussing how these divergent views on freedom might influence current liberal debates or policies.
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the key concepts and thinkers associated with classical and modern liberalism. It effectively contrasts the theoretical unity of liberalism with the practical divergences, providing a nuanced view of the topic.
To achieve a higher mark, the essay should include more specific examples and direct quotes from the political thinkers discussed. Additionally, a deeper exploration of the implications of the differences between classical and modern liberalism on contemporary issues would enhance the analysis.
Overall, the essay presents a well-structured and thoughtful evaluation of the differences between classical and modern liberal views on freedom. It effectively balances knowledge and analysis, but it would benefit from more specific examples and a clearer thesis in the introduction. Strengthening these areas could elevate the essay to a higher mark band.