“Social media does more harm than good to young people. We must reduce its influence be... - AI essay feedback

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“Social media does more harm than good to young people. We must reduce its influence be... - AI essay feedback

Use TILFFrom AA

Use TILFFrom AA

Good morning everyone, We live in the most connected age in human history — yet somehow, we’ve never felt more alone. And the culprit? It's often sitting right in our pockets. Let’s not pretend social media hasn’t shaped our generation. It entertains us, informs us, and gives us a voice. But what it also gives us — quietly, consistently — is anxiety, insecurity, and comparison. Every scroll shows us someone richer, prettier, happier. But it's not real. It’s curated perfection, filtered fiction. And yet, we compare ourselves to it daily, wondering why we don’t measure up. That damage is subtle but deep. It erodes self-worth. Studies don’t lie. Social media usage is strongly linked to increased depression, disrupted sleep, and even body image disorders. Apps designed to ‘connect’ us end up controlling us — tracking our time, our attention, even our moods. And let’s not forget how it warps our friendships. We speak in streaks and emojis, not real conversations. We’re more fluent in memes than in emotions. And while we might have thousands of followers, genuine connection is vanishing fast. Does this mean we abandon it altogether? No. Social media has power — but power without control is dangerous. We need digital literacy in schools, parental guidance at home, and most of all, personal limits we actually stick to. Boundaries don’t kill freedom; they protect it. Let’s stop pretending we’re unaffected. Let’s take back our time, our focus, and our mental space. If we don’t act now, we risk becoming spectators in our own lives — watching, liking, scrolling… but never truly living.

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Mark

37/40

Paragraphs Feedback

The introduction effectively sets the tone and engages the audience with a strong opening statement. To improve, consider adding a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main argument regarding the harm of social media.
This paragraph presents a clear argument about the negative effects of social media, using emotional language to connect with the audience. To enhance it, you could include a specific example or statistic to strengthen your claim about anxiety and insecurity.
The use of rhetorical questions is effective in engaging the audience. However, this paragraph could benefit from a more detailed explanation of how social media erodes self-worth, perhaps by sharing a brief anecdote or example.
This paragraph provides a solid foundation by citing studies, which adds credibility. To improve, consider specifying the studies or providing a brief summary of their findings to enhance the persuasive impact.
The discussion of how social media affects friendships is poignant. To make it more impactful, you could include a personal story or a hypothetical scenario that illustrates the loss of genuine connection.
This paragraph introduces a balanced perspective, which is good. However, it could be strengthened by elaborating on what digital literacy and parental guidance entail, providing concrete examples of how they can be implemented.
The conclusion is powerful and calls for action, which is effective. To improve, you might want to reiterate the main points briefly to reinforce your argument before the call to action.
Overall, the speech is well-structured and flows logically. To enhance coherence, consider using more transitional phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs.

AO Feedback

To reach a higher level in AO5, focus on developing your ideas further with specific examples and anecdotes that illustrate your points. This will enhance the engagement and persuasiveness of your speech.

What Went Well

The essay presents a clear and compelling argument against the negative impacts of social media, using emotional appeal and rhetorical questions effectively. The structure is logical, and the call to action is strong.

Even Better If

To improve, incorporate more specific examples and statistics to support your claims. Additionally, consider adding personal anecdotes or hypothetical scenarios to make your argument more relatable and impactful.

Overall Feedback

The speech is engaging and presents a strong argument about the harms of social media. It effectively uses rhetorical devices and emotional appeal. However, it would benefit from more specific evidence and examples to strengthen the claims made.