The first paragraph presents a range of ideas but could benefit from clearer structure. Consider breaking it into smaller, more focused sections to enhance clarity. For example, separate the analysis of TMOM and BW into distinct paragraphs to allow for a more detailed comparison.
The second paragraph introduces interesting concepts but lacks coherence in some areas. Ensure that each point is clearly linked to the overall argument. For instance, when discussing the Latin phrase 'carpe diem', explicitly connect it back to the theme of optimism in TMOM before transitioning to the contrast with BW.
The essay demonstrates a strong understanding of both poems and effectively compares their themes and tones. The use of textual references is commendable, particularly in the analysis of language and structure. The identification of literary devices, such as alliteration and metaphor, shows a good grasp of AO2.
To achieve a higher mark, the essay should provide a more balanced comparison between the two poems. Ensure that both poems are given equal attention and that the analysis of BW is as developed as that of TMOM. Additionally, clarify some of the more complex ideas and ensure that all points are directly related to the question.
Overall, the essay presents a thoughtful comparison of the two poems, exploring their differing perspectives on May and weather as a metaphor for life. However, the analysis would benefit from clearer organization and a more balanced focus on both texts. Strengthening the connections between points and the overall argument will enhance the effectiveness of the response.