The introduction effectively sets the stage for the analysis, clearly stating the poet's presentation of the speaker's feelings. To improve, consider providing a more specific thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss, which will help guide the reader through your argument.
The second paragraph presents a strong analysis of the grandmother's disembodiment and vulnerability. However, it could benefit from more precise textual references to support your claims. For example, instead of just mentioning the 'walking frame' and 'hearing aid', explain how these images specifically contribute to the theme of infantilization and the speaker's feelings.
In the third paragraph, the discussion of disconnection is insightful. To enhance this section, consider exploring the emotional implications of the speaker's feelings in more depth. How does this disconnection affect their relationship overall? Additionally, clarify the significance of the structural choice to end with the line about the grandmother.
The fourth paragraph effectively discusses the infantilization of the grandmother. To improve, you could elaborate on the emotional impact of this role reversal on the speaker. How does this shift affect her identity and feelings towards her grandmother? More detailed analysis of the simile would strengthen your argument.
The conclusion summarizes the main points well but could be more impactful. Instead of just restating the findings, consider reflecting on the broader implications of the speaker's feelings towards her grandmother. What does this say about the nature of aging and family relationships?
For AO1, to reach a higher level, focus on maintaining a critical style and developing a more informed personal response. This can be achieved by integrating more textual references and quotations to support your interpretations. For AO2, enhance your analysis of the writer's methods by using more subject terminology and exploring the effects of these methods in greater detail. For example, discuss how the use of simile and imagery not only conveys meaning but also evokes specific emotions in the reader.
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the poem and presents a thoughtful analysis of the speaker's feelings towards her grandmother. The use of textual references and the exploration of themes such as disconnection and infantilization are strengths that align well with the mark scheme.
To achieve a higher mark, the essay should include more detailed textual analysis and a wider range of references. Additionally, deeper exploration of the emotional implications of the speaker's feelings and the effects of the poet's methods would enhance the overall quality of the response.
Overall, the essay presents a thoughtful and structured analysis of the speaker's feelings towards her grandmother in 'Jessie Emily Schofield'. While it demonstrates clear understanding and relevant references, it would benefit from more detailed exploration of the poet's methods and the emotional depth of the speaker's experiences. Strengthening these areas could elevate the response to a higher mark band.