Assess the responses to a tropical storm in a named country - AI essay feedback

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Assess the responses to a tropical storm in a named country - AI essay feedback

Use TILFFrom ITIT

Use TILFFrom ITIT

Typhoon Haiyan, which struck the Philippines in November 2013, prompted a range of immediate (short-term) and long-term responses. These varied in effectiveness and scale. In the short term, the Philippine government and international agencies responded quickly. Over 800,000 people were evacuated before the storm hit, which likely saved many lives. Emergency aid arrived from countries like the UK, which sent shelter kits, and the US, which deployed military support to deliver aid. However, some areas were cut off due to destroyed infrastructure, meaning that food, water, and medical aid took days to reach those most in need, reducing the effectiveness of the response in remote locations. Another immediate response included setting up evacuation centres and field hospitals. The World Health Organization and other NGOs helped to limit the spread of disease, such as cholera, by providing clean water and sanitation. Still, overcrowded conditions in shelters and damaged medical facilities made healthcare challenging. In the long term, responses aimed to rebuild and improve resilience. The government launched a ‘Build Back Better’ campaign, which focused on rebuilding homes more safely and improving warning systems. Coastal areas were designated as no-build zones to reduce future risks. Despite this, rebuilding has been slow in some regions due to limited funding and widespread poverty. Overall, the responses to Typhoon Haiyan were mixed. While international aid saved lives and there were some effective long-term strategies, weaknesses in infrastructure and government coordination reduced their overall success. Some of the poorest and most vulnerable communities were left exposed for too long.

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Mark

9/9

Paragraphs Feedback

The introduction effectively sets the context for the essay by identifying the storm and its impact. To improve, consider including a brief overview of the types of responses that will be discussed, which would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
The first body paragraph provides specific examples of short-term responses and their effectiveness. To enhance this section, you could include more details about the scale of the evacuation and the types of aid provided, as well as any statistics that highlight the impact of these actions.
The second body paragraph discusses the establishment of evacuation centers and the role of NGOs. This is a strong point, but it could be improved by providing specific examples of the NGOs involved and any measurable outcomes of their efforts, such as the number of people served or diseases prevented.
The third body paragraph outlines long-term responses well, particularly the 'Build Back Better' campaign. To strengthen this section, consider discussing specific examples of how homes were rebuilt or how warning systems were improved, as well as any challenges faced in implementing these strategies.
The conclusion summarizes the mixed effectiveness of the responses. To improve, you could provide a more nuanced evaluation of what could have been done differently or more effectively, perhaps suggesting specific lessons learned for future disaster responses.

What Went Well

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the immediate and long-term responses to Typhoon Haiyan, providing relevant examples and showing the complexities of disaster response. The use of specific agencies and initiatives adds depth to the analysis.

Even Better If

To achieve a higher mark, the essay should include more detailed examples and statistics to support claims, as well as a deeper analysis of the effectiveness of the responses. Additionally, integrating more geographical terminology and concepts would enhance the overall quality.

Overall Feedback

Overall, the essay provides a solid assessment of the responses to Typhoon Haiyan, with a good balance of immediate and long-term actions. However, it would benefit from more detailed examples and a deeper critical analysis of the effectiveness of these responses, particularly in terms of their impact on vulnerable communities.